I’m running late, very late, for a funeral. Well, not a funeral, but a farewell. I miss the 12.57 train at Kensington, so I decide to make a walk-jog-run for it to Macaulay station, a good 500 metres. The iPhone says I’ve got 5 minutes. Usain Bolt can do a hundred in 10 seconds, so I should have no trouble with a hundred every minute. Easy peasy. But I’m on the verge of collapse as I cross Moonee Ponds Creek and watch despairingly as the train pulls out of Macaulay. What to do? The funeral starts at 1.55 pm and the next train will be 20 minutes. So I trudge back to Kensington for the 1.17 pm. Sit down, catch my breath, and an announcement. The 1.17 has been cancelled! Next train is 1.37 pm. What to do? In an instant I’m off and make a walk-jog, no way am I running for it, back to Macaulay station. Spare me. Two minutes to spare. A good connection at Flinders Street, an express to Caulfield, and no way am I running ever again. On course seven minutes late and the funeral hasn’t even started.

Not a bad crowd. The Reverend Gerard Whateley is doing the eulogy. His voice doesn’t waver as he sings the praises of the soon to be departed. And you can’t leave the pollies out of it. Dennis Napthine waxes lyrical about that big backside. Pete mutters a few words. The jockey mounts, parades around to stirring music, and soon it’s all over. To think, all this fuss for a horse. A horse is just a horse, even if it is Black Caviar.

The best bit? The stable letting everyone get their hands on history.

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The Stewards must be reading this blog. They were paying a bit more attention to the gear list today.

I trudged out the back before the fifth race to have a good look at Verdant, who was listed as wearing glue ons. To my surprise they weren’t in evidence. He had bright shiny new racing plates and his hoof walls looked like they had been painted with Estapol gloss. They were bright and shiny too. And no sign of any glue or glue ons. And then at exactly 2.47 pm, three minutes before the race, Greg Miles announced over the PA that the glue ons were off. Too bad if you’d already had your bet. Too bad if you were laying the glue ons from home. The horse was backed from 30/1 to 20/1 and ran on to just miss a place. The Stewards’ report remarked: “Trainer Mr R Smerdon was fined $200 for failing to notify the removal of glue on shoes from Verdant (GB) today in accordance with the rules.”

And in the last they were vigilant too: “Co-trainers Mr M Ellerton and Mr S Zahra were fined $50 for presenting Twilighting in the mounting yard with blinkers which are not part of the mare’s declared gear.” I missed that one. You’ve gotta keep your eyes peeled!

And in the first Royal Rada had the flowerpot on in the stall. Well, it’s not really a flowerpot, but the first horse I ever saw muzzled was wearing a homemade device made out of a plastic flowerpot and was nicknamed “Flowerpot”. The strapper said Royal Rada was an angry horse and as well as biting humans will even strike out at passing horses with his front legs. You may remember that good Group 1 horse Weekend Hussler used to wear a flowerpot. His strapper Margaret McDonald apparently still has the scars from his bites! Royal Rada finished eighth.

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Now that I’m paying more attention to the bridle I keep seeing things that I shouldn’t see. Each raceday there seems to be stuff that doesn’t appear on the official gear list. They are usually fairly minor things, some would say trivial, but it means that I can’t have full confidence in the official list and must still check the horse for myself.

Today I noticed two bit lifters (Purple Storm and King Cotton) and a tongue tie (Honey Flower) not on the list. They are probably fairly benign pieces of gear with little impact on performance, but it’s always nice to know. Honey Flower, a beaten favourite, was late into the yard, and early out onto the track. Purple Storm ended up bleeding for a second time and is now rubbed out for life. King Cotton ran last.

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There’s hardly anyone here. They’ve all slept in after a big night out at the Valley. Everyone seems to want to know: “Did you go?”. You’d have to be kidding. I’m crooked enough on the Cox Plate being run at 5.30 pm, let alone sending Black Caviar around at 9.55 pm. At least I was safely tucked up in bed watching the footy while everyone was still stuck in the car park.

A quiet day, mainly spent trying to photograph one-eyed blinkers for Volume 2, with only mixed success. But four bets, for three placed horses (San Diego, Under The Eiffel, High Esteem) and a loser (Word Gets Around).

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More signs that racing is in decay. Mid-week at Sandown is free, but things are not improving.

Seagulls over Sandown

The racebook kiosk will be closed next week and you’ll need to buy your book at the bar. And the cloak room was closed. And there were probably 2000 seagulls there and barely 200 punters! What do you expect for nothing? 

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Horse racing is surely in decline. Do you remember when the Labour Day long weekend was a double header, with the Newmarket on Saturday and the Australian Cup on the Monday? Now it’s all compressed into one day, so-called Super Saturday, with Monday being relegated to a mid-week meeting at the Valley. And the VRC knows where its bread is buttered. The whole car park has been turned over to sound stages for a rock concert on Sunday. I get a glimpse of the new world when I’m handed a warning card as I go through the turnstiles:

“All vehicles parked within the Flemington Members Unreserved Car Park must be cleared by 7.30 pm. Any vehicles remaining after 7.30 pm will be towed to VRC Head Office at owner’s risk”.

Not a welcoming welcome to the best day of racing in the autumn! What if I’m still celebrating at 7.30 pm? Members love moaning about what’s happening to racing today. So, moan, moan.

The tea leaves aren’t looking good and so it proves. In the first both the favourites Montsegur and Bulbula have excrement on their hindlegs, which is a very bad look And the sway-backed Fine Diamond looks to be a very uncomfortable ride, not that the jock will be doing much sitting down. I cross them all out except for Diva Dee. A standout. I double my bet. Bulbula and Montsegur settle down to fight it out with Diva Dee steaming home when it’s all over for third. Such a shame they don’t pay out for third with seven horses.

I claw some back on the Cup favourite Puissance De Lune, but the $1.70 place divvy is a bit skinny, especially when my minimum is now $1.80. But I give more back on Alzora, fourth in the fifth, and Mourayan, nowhere in the Australian Cup. Centennial Park, the winner of the last, improved my mood, but it was still a losing day. My first in yonks.

And I’m given another warning as I leave the car park. No booze and no wheelchairs. Cripes! What’s happening to racing today.

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A beautiful autumn day in Melbourne, but there is no one here. It was promoted as a day out for the kids, which must explain why the adults have gone missing. I’m not complaining. There’s room to move. There must have been at least an extra 20,000 people here for the Lightning, just a couple of weeks ago. And there is still a good horse to look at , despite the surprise scratching of All Too Hard. Look at that backside! And is that a bit of rib showing in the barrel? But I guess the muscle definition is a little bit lacking. But what a head! It’s all in that fabulous head! Apache Cat. Now eleven years old. Still the most striking horse going around.

Not much action. Even the hard-working clerks found time for a chin wag.

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I tried to photograph the bad behaviour of the favourite in the two-year-old race, Miracles of Life, but every time I pressed the shutter she put on her best manners. All I got for my troubles were pictures of the horse with her eyes shut or else lobbing along with her head down. I could never back her because of the unsettled behaviour and the struggling strapper, let alone the cross-over noseband. But today I was prepared to forgive the noseband since I’d seen her win with it before. The horse is barely bigger than a pony, but has certainly turned out to be a pocket rocket.

And in the end it was all too easy for All Too Hard. Too short to bet the place, but simply too good. And you’d have to say that Black Caviar’s brother’s backside does bear a certain resemblance to his half-sister. Compare it with the rocket!

I kicked of with a loser, Tan Tat Rock, how I hate that, and then two placed horses, Meliora and Star of Giselle, to save the day.

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I’ve been photographing that backside for some time now. The view that the also-rans see. And there have been some eloquent descriptions of it lately. The horse’s biographer, Gerard Whateley, regards Black Caviar as “powerful rather than beautiful”, and the legend of the turf , Bart Cummings, said she possessed “the neck of a duchess and the arse of a cook”. I’m not sure how flattered Princess Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall feels now, since others have been known to make rather unkind references to her horsey appearance. I think it is more likely a reference to the priceless jewels that normally adorn that lovely neck. But all the cooks on Masterchef are now looking over their shoulders in the mirror and asking “Does my bum look big in this?”

There were heaps there. Fans galore. So many that I couldn’t see her saddled up in the stalls, let alone in the mounting yard. I’ve never seen so many around the yard, not even on Cup day. How I love the mobile phone salute! But I’m still struggling to understand it all. I mean, a horse is just a horse. And they all went home after the race and didn’t even have to collect at the tote because they didn’t bet. They just want to be a part of history. But I was there too. A part of history.

Congratulations to Pete on the trifecta and the new course record.

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There have been quite a few small fields lately, but today takes the cake. The main race has only one starter! There were heaps there, trying to get a look at that backside again, maybe for the last time. It still looks pretty powerful and the horse strode out quite well. In fact the horse, Black Caviar, beat nothing and won in a hand canter. Could be worth following. The doyen of horse watchers, Les Carlyon was there, and thought the mare had probably been spending a bit of time out in the sun as her coat colour seemed slightly lighter. And maybe she could still lose a few kilos, although there are still a couple of weeks to go till the Lightning. I asked Les if he would keep on racing her and he said he would. She can only produce one foal a year whereas a stallion can produce a hundred. And they all have to lose sometime. No point in just trying to keep the record intact when you’ve got a good one.

Not much else to report. An interesting gear combination of cross-over nose band, tongue tie, and winkers on the unraced two-year-old colt Present Glow. No wonder he was lolling his tongue. You’d think he could have a run or two first before loading him up with stuff. And only two bets for two collects on two winners, Winta Chiller and Future Solution. I was going to back The New Boy, but $1.30 the place was a bit short, so Future Solution ended up solving my problem. Second week in a row!

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