The boys in the band were there. I’ve always said that I will never tire of hearing White Christmas, but I must say that today my patience was sorely tested. I got there early for the two-year-old but in the end didn’t bet on it. There was a lot of so-called “coltish” behaviour going on. Horses were neighing in their stalls, and calling out in the parade ring and mounting yard. I counted at least two fifth legs, including Midnight Rule. Even the impressive winner Safeguard was sexually aroused. I was looking for the relaxed colt but couldn’t find him, so I left the race alone.

I kept my powder dry until the fourth when I was nearly tempted by a relaxed Riverina’s Girl but eventually gave her the flick. The Soldier led them up and seems to have recovered from his near death experience. A nasty fall after the post and we all froze. In the fifth I was preoccupied with Battles End and his hoof pads which were very hard to photograph for my collection. I passed on my favourite horse Rockpecker in the sixth because he was kicking out in his stall. Looked OK in the yard though. Keep Cool was the omen bet as well as best in the yard in the seventh and I came home with a wet sail on Gig in the last. I quite like summer racing.

All the best for a Cool Yule. I’ll be back, hopefully, in the New Year.

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A quiet day at the track, but I managed to score an excellent picture of the tail chain on Alcohol. You may remember that this rarely seen piece of gear is used on horses that suck in air through their backside. I asked the trainer Richard Jolly about it and he said that they only recently noticed a problem after the horse had raced. It was blowing out air through its, excuse me, bum. The horse doesn’t do it when it is just lobbing around at home. He said it is much more common in trotters. The gear itself is not so fancy. Just a bit of chain from Bunnings and some electricians tape. The chain tickles the anus so that the horse keeps it shut. Alcohol must have relished being tickled up behind as it powered away to win!

Alcohol

Not such a good day on the punt. Two bets for two losers, Euryale and Sheahan, who both finished fourth. I was in need of a stiff drink myself.

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A hot day with a forecast top of 37 degrees and a gale force northerly wind. There’s hardly a horse to be seen out the back as they are allowed to arrive on course much later on these hot days. And the sprinklers are running on top of the stalls, which is a good idea. And the horses spend more time in the parade ring, which is shaded, and then go up to the mounting yard at the last minute. Front running horses were clearly disadvantaged battling into the hot wind and in every race they knocked up to be run over by the swoopers. In the sixth race The Soldier led to the turn but gave up the battle to finish tailed off 50 lengths last. The stewards report noted that “The Soldier compounded in the straight. A subsequent veterinary examination revealed the gelding to be suffering from extreme heat stress.”

The Soldier

Out the back in the parade ring The Soldier had a real fight on his hands. He was on his knees being hosed and then would get cranky and rear and buck and flail around helplessly. He finally collapsed onto the ground and a bucket brigade was organised to cool him down. He eventually made a full recovery. The stewards didn’t like me taking photographs, but it is a fact of life with racing in the heat that horses are going to get stressed. I suppose they are worried that it will cast racing in a poor light.

I checked my racebook notes and found that I had marked the horse as sweating up and quivering in the mounting yard before the race, something that I would rarely ever see. My feeling is the horse may have had an elevated temperature before it even raced.

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The first day of summer and it’s hot and sticky. The flies are swarming about and are irritating the horses and watchers alike. A swishing tail is normally a good sign of irritation but when nearly every horse is swishing and flicking it doesn’t help much in picking out the losers. Lots of head shaking and snorting too. Nothing worse than a fly up your nose. Can you count five flies?

Not much betting action because I was irritated too. When I did find a good horse it was generally too short for a place bet. But of course the real reason was that my head was fuzzy and my belly was full of wine and party pies from the members’ Christmas cocktail party.

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There are lots of my old mates here today. Jumpout Joey has jumped out of the woodwork, and look, there’s Jungle Ruler, and hey, there’s Rockpecker, and look at Zipping! He looks as if he’s spent the last two years in a knee-high paddock of lucerne. Just enter “Zipping” into the search box to see what he looked like two years ago!

The Classic should really be called the Williams Classic. And you have to give team Williams some credit, even if you do tire of Nick’s speeches. They have pioneered the use of two strappers with all their horses and have turned it around from being a negative variable ten years ago, when the book was published, to a positive one today. Clearly, the book does need an update, and I am slowly working on it! Mourayan was the favourite but had the glue on shoes. The new sort are virtually impossible to detect by eye, but if you look carefully at the photo (click it a couple of times to blow it up) you will notice a slight colour discontinuity at the distal (big word) end of the hoof. Team Williams also routinely employ a pony with all their horses. No wonder they have a mortgage on this race. Mourayan was busy kicking and pawing on his new shoes in his stall so he was a definite lay, but I was too busy backing Exceptionally for the place to worry about it. 

For the last few months or so I have been printing out the list of gear from the Racing Victoria website. Previously I just used to look at the published gear changes, but the complete list is quite useful. However, the more I compare my notes with the official list the more discrepancies I find. Horses have the wrong gear, no gear or additional gear. Occasionally $50 fines are handed out, but there seem to be heaps that get under the stewards’ radar. Maybe there are announcements at the track and I just don’t hear them. Chasm was meant to have bar plates but blowed if I could see them behind the can of Jim Beam. Life as a horse watcher was never meant to be easy!

And the boys were there in their Hawaiian shirts and silly hats.

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The carnival wrap up, and nice to go out on a high. Two out of two with Fawkner just missing in the Stakes and Crafty Irna surging for third in the mares. A hard and demanding four days, for a pretty good strike rate of nine out of twelve bets for the week. I missed on the Cup. The beautiful chestnut English stayer Red Cadeaux was clearly the most relaxed horse in the yard, and wasn’t suited by the slow pace, but still ground home. He reminds me of one of my favourite horses, Persian Punch! I missed the trifecta as well, getting Green Moon and Jakkalberry, but leaving out Gai’s French import, the “parachute” horse, Fiorente. I couldn’t come at him after he was rearing, neighing and dumping in the yard, although Gai gave him a good spruik at her stable show on the Sunday. I kept Green Moon in the trifecta, but couldn’t back him straight out after his poor Cox Plate effort. The connections are a bit tricky too, describing the horse as being “battered and bruised” after the race.

Radio National was chasing me for an interview on Cup Day which never eventuated. They initially wanted to do me after the race in the studio for ten minutes, but wouldn’t come at a helicopter. They offered a Cabcharge, but the taxi line is 100 metres long on Cup Day with no cabs, so I finally suggested the train. It all fell in a heap and it was decided to do a phone interview on Cup Eve. They promised eight minutes, but then Chuck and his Duchess arrived and they downgraded me to four minutes in order to interview an etiquette expert. After holding me on the phone for ten minutes I was finally told that time had run out! Bumped for blooming royalty! Bring on the republic!

And I’ve cast my vote in the Fashions on the Field.

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The greatest day’s racing on earth. And a great day it was too, with an outstanding omen. The VRC has planted a special tribute garden in honour of the foxglove, Digitalis purpurea. This is the plant from which the drug Digoxin is derived. Digoxin of course is the miracle drug used to treat atrial fibrillation and atrial flutter. I got a dose by IV in Epworth Emergency last June. It is probably the only reason that I have survived to enjoy Derby Day. So, here’s to you, foxgloves.

Digitalis purpurea

How could I possibly lose? Four out of four placed horses, to finally get well ahead for the spring. Proverb, Transonic, Nechita and Tiger Tees. My only complaint is that for the second week in a row I couldn’t get online to lay It’s A Dundeel! I guess with 98,000 people and half of them trying to get on, the 3G does get a bit overloaded!

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All the blokes are out today, in their best suits, horsing around. They outnumber the gals about twenty to one! And all the good horses are out today too, with lots of strappers. Glass Harmonium, Green Moon, Ethiopia and Ocean Park all had two strappers, which is usually a very positive sign. I picked the wrong one – Green Moon! In the Vase I was keen to lay the odds on pop It’s A Dundeel, but couldn’t get connected to the server, which was very frustrating. I don’t know who to blame – Moonee Valley, Telstra or Betfair! The horse had a very suspicious looking black bandage on its near hind pastern. Very hard to see, but covering one white sock. So I backed Super Cool for the place instead in a seven horse field and was rewarded with a very satisfying $2.80 dividend.

In the end I got three out of five to at last get ahead for the spring. Bring on Derby Day!

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I spent a couple of hours out the back looking at the cup horses. The biggest crowd was around the two previous Melbourne Cup winners, Dunaden and Americain. The crush was so big it was hard to get a good picture of the winner, totally relaxed in his stall. Americain was imposing, has a nice positive French strapper, but had the concussion plates on. It is hard to photograph the feet, but if you look carefully you can make out the thin strip of black rubber beneath the plate. And lucky I did take the photograph because he lost both front plates in the running! He obviously doesn’t like the hard ground! Alcopop had his pony there and would have been the lightest looking horse in the race. From behind he looks totally wasted! Lights of Heaven was hand held by the strapper and relaxed. My Quest for Peace looked a nice horse, but was a bit agitated, pawing and lifting his off hind to kick. The Gai bubble has certainly burst and there wasn’t a soul checking out Glencadam Gold in his stall. Gai didn’t even appear to saddle him!  December Draw had a dream run but sweated up before the race. I took a box trifecta, but missed the third horse Lights Of Heaven. A pity Americain didn’t keep on coming!

And the Spring Carnival can be deemed to have officially started with my first sighting of Francesca. She’s a chip off the old block, wouldn’t you say, and both of them probably need a good feed.

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