Did the Easter bunny come to your place? It looks like he left all his eggs at Caulfield!

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A huge crowd are here but all they want to do is eat and drink. There are heaps of Victorian wineries and eateries offering samples. You can buy a tasting glass for $20 and spend the whole day boozing on the grazing trail.  Such a shame that I’m only here for the horses! And when The Roulettes flew over I wondered what on earth is that about. Apparently it’s for the Grand Prix. I live a cocooned existence and didn’t even know that cars were racing on Super Saturday!

The Melbourne Cup horses have been spruiked in the press but you’d have to think that they are both lays. The distance is far too short for Red Cadeaux and Protectionist wasn’t at all settled two weeks ago at Caulfield. Red Cadeaux seems to be out of season with a clipped coat, but I love this horse. What a relentless stayer! Pings from the barrier and just keeps on going. He has to be Persian Punch reincarnated. Protectionist as predicted was simply too unsettled. I left the feature races alone. The three-year-old colt Brazen Beau was very relaxed in his stall. In fact so relaxed his old feller was hanging out! He won like a good horse.

In the end, four bets for three places. My best was Marianne, second in the mares at $3.70 and my worst was Samartested, a disappointing seventh in the three-year-old fillies. But nice to win on a big day.

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I have an invitation to the annual cocktail party at Headquarters. The invitation says it’s for one hour only before the first race, from 11.15 to 12.15. I set off nice and early to get me some of that free beer and arrive at 11.05. Imagine my shock to find 1000 hungry and thirsty members lined up at the gate before me! And it’s a lockout! The gates aren’t opened until about 11.17 and I don’t get in to the party until 11.40! Unreal! Are there any brains left at Headquarters? And the only reason I wanted to get there early was for the delicious egg and bacon rolls that we had last year. You can imagine my disappointment to find it was just humble party pies. So the club is saving on catering and saving on staff to open a gate. Times must be tough.

Only one bet for the day on the second horse in a six horse race. But often the place divvies in these sorts of races are outstanding. $3.90 is not too bad!

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I went along to Caulfield expecting to have two bets. Protectionist in Race 6 and Pride of Dubai in Race 8, the Blue Diamond. I couldn’t find the Cup winner in his stall early on but he eventually turned up to be saddled and was the first horse out in the parade ring. But he was very unsettled, tossing his head around and changing stride. A little bit of sweat forming in the flank, not that sweating is a problem on a hot and humid day. But the horse looked nothing like the perfect, relaxed horse I saw last November. In contrast, Happy Trails was happy, as well as dry and paying attention to the strapper, with an occasional tail flick. I backed the happy horse.

In fact, I ended up having more than two bets. Pride of Dubai did the right thing, and I landed two other placed horses, Choose and Minnesinger. In fact, that made it four out of four. My best for quite some time!

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The cacophony of sound from the Soundwave concert at the Showgrounds was simply appalling. A wall of noise. It blasted straight into the birdcage stalls and parade ring. The horses and humans hated it. It’s a sign of old age when you start muttering “they call that music?”. There will be a lot of deaf pensioners in 50 years time!

The lightning arrived on cue and the race was delayed some ten minutes by electrical activity. All the tote screens in the Members blew out! Fab Fevola looked great in his stall with his clone, Litte Fab, but was obviously outclassed in the race. The bubble burst on the next big thing, Deep Field, who was dispensing liberal doses of sloppy excrement in the yard. The world’s best sprinter Lankan Rupee looked very cool, but I liked Brazen Beau who grabbed second at $2.20. I was cashed up and sitting on two out of two coming to the last, but blew it on Berrimilla. Still, Swift Shadow at $3.90 meant I had a pretty good day.

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I haven’t seen a walleyed horse in yonks. But here’s Blue Eyes, a four-year-old maiden mare. The iris of walleyed horses lacks the normal pigment and is either white or pale blue in colour. This lack of pigment doesn’t affect the vision of the horse. Blue Eyes ran an even race to finish sixth.

The horse is trained by Pat Carey, owned by Trevor Delroy, and bred on his magnificent property Wyadup Valley Farm, near Canal Rocks, in Western Australia. The sire is that cantankerous stallion Helenus.

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There was 22 mm of rain in my gauge at home so the prospects were not looking too good for a bet, especially since the Caulfield track has been closed since the spring and the surface relaid. I arrived to find the track rated as a Soft 5. What the hell is a Soft 5?! Greg Miles kept on calling it a Slow 5. But everyone was surprised when they ran a track record in the first and it was immediately upgraded to Good 4, and by the middle of the day a Good 3. What has happened to Dead? Gone the way of the dodo?

Three bets for a faultless winner, my old favourite, Smokin’ Joey, and two losers, Heatherly and Griante. Both my losers looked like winners at the 300, and I was counting my money, but they both faded dramatically to miss a place. I forgot that there is time enough for counting when the racing is done. A rare losing day.

I took a pic of the stampers, those blokes that stamp down the divots. In the new book I mentioned that they use a wooden block without ever really checking. And here they are with miniature rakes! Looks like a last minute edit. Nearly set to go to the printer.

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Hens and pens. Not much action on a very quiet day. The main highlight a hens’ party in pretty pink. And also, the lady in the hat ahead of me in the race book queue bought a pen as well as a book. Four dollars. That’s $4! Why would anyone go to the races without a pen? Even the most casual of social racegoers would always need to put a line through the scratchings. I take three: my current favourite, a Bic Pro+, a back-up for the Bic, and a back-up for the back-up.

Two placed horses and two relaxed females: Clover Lane in the fillies and Choose in the mares. When I got home I counted all the biros in my desk drawer. Fifty-one. That’s $204! If the pen burn out rate is one every two months I should still have enough for the next eight or nine years!

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It’s out in the sticks, but I like Sandown. Every horse gets a chance. A cold wind and a small crowd, but they are out in force to cast an eye over the babies, the two-year-olds. Burnstone comes from last to first to street them in the colts and geldings. A windsucker apparently, which means I’m unlikely to ever back him. In the fillies I like both Godolphin horses, but pull the wrong rein and back Promenades instead of Pursuits. The horse is used up early and fades. I redeem myself on the mares with Pat Carey’s Elle Excite which drops out last but comes home hard to win. It was $2.30 the place when I placed the bet at one minute to go, but returned $1.90. Some plunge! But I leave the track in a good mood, proud to be an Australian. How I love those jockey silks!

Home and I hear the terrible news about Sir Prince Philip. Abbott, what a brown-noser! I bet he’s a windsucker! I’m embarrassed to be an Australian!

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The media doesn’t usually pay much attention to a minor mid-weeker out at Sandown. But the TV news and press were out in force today. Punters were wandering around in shock, even disbelief, about the investigation into Pete, Kav, and Danny over elevated cobalt chloride levels in some of their horses. Pete looked a bit stressed and was back on the smokes. I would be too if I had long lenses looking at me!

Erythropoiesis. Now there’s a good word. Cobalt chloride stimulates erythropoiesis, or the production of erythrocytes, or red blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen. More oxygen means less lactic acid, more endurance, less fatigue.

This story has a long way to go. I feel tired already.

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