The boys in the band were there. They were in fine form and had obviously benefited from last week’s practice. And new outfits! The Christmas present was pretty good, and the plum pudding was outstanding. But the turkey looked a bit dodgy, and might have been a bit overcooked.

The first was a race for two-year-olds with only six starters. The form experts told me that Bosnia was a moral, which immediately made me pay more attention. Sure, the colt looked cool, but I thought the Hayes filly looked better, very relaxed. The place dividends in these small fields are often outstanding so I backed Claudia Jean showing $4.00 for the place. Gai’s horse Lucky Fish was scratched at the barrier after dumping the jockey. This was a huge disappointment as I had already crossed it out for resisting the jockey and the divvy on Claudia Jean immediately shrank to $3.20 and finally settled on $2.90 at the jump. Craig was giving the moral a good whipping half way down the straight as Claudia Jean powered away to an easy win. One out of one! And today’s lesson? There’s no such thing as a moral!

In the second Pink Perfection was a standout at $2.10 and suddenly, after only two races I was two out of two!

In the fifth I had made copious notes on every horse except number 12, Alakris. The horse fell into third for $2.60. Three out of three!

And in the seventh Churchill Dancer was a standout and stormed to the line to win at $3.40 the place. Four out of four!

Occasionally you have days like this. One out of the box. My best in 12 months. Cashed up for Christmas!

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The boys in the band were there. Warming up for next week.

Another poor start in the first with Tallat finishing third in a seven horse field. But a sort of recovery, if you can call it that, with Corporate Takeover in the third. The only horse in the field that didn’t have a fault. I was counting the $2.80 when it hit the front at the 100 metres only to be swamped at the post in a photo with three other horses for third. A dead heat! I didn’t know whether to be happy that I didn’t lose or disappointed that I didn’t win more! And in the fourth Native Land was a standout and was never in danger for the place at a nice $2.50. Now that’s a recovery.

The favourite in the seventh, Kingdom Of Dreams, has a reputation for acting up. It had the ear muffs and stallion chain, with the clerk accompanying it around the yard. The horse was sweating freely, which is quite OK on a hot day. But it’s not OK to show a lot of resistance, so much so that it was hard to frame him in a picture! The clerk took him out onto the track early where the jockey hopped aboard. I declared him a lay and tried my best to get set but my offer of $1.42 for the place wasn’t matched with the price quickly blowing out to $1.55. Too greedy I suppose. The horse came home well from last for fourth.

And in the eighth I quite liked Mighty Like who won well at $1.90 the place. A horsewatcher remarked to me that he looked just like Terravista on Stakes Day.

And in the last I couldn’t split Madam Gangster and Profit Share so I left the race alone. They finished first and second. But I was half happy with 2½ out of 4. I can’t remember the last time I had a ½.

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I went out to Sandown with only one aim in mind – to back Siegestor in the eighth race. The horse was a stunning standout when I last backed him in a mid-weeker out here two weeks ago. Stephen King dropped him to the rear and he stormed home to win going away. I can’t wait to have another go. He’s nice and calm in his stall.

But look, here’s Loveheart Lass, fit and relaxed. And look! There’s the loveheart. I’m a real sucker for love. The horse dropped to the rear but ran home reasonably well for fourth. I hate starting with a loser. Isn’t it easy to fall out of love.

But I got it all back on Leveraction in the fourth, and so I was all square coming into the eighth. And look, there’s Siegestor in the parade ring. But hey, he hates the gale force easterly wind. He tosses his head up, gaping and showing teeth. His gait is unsettled. He’s stamping, like a recalcitrant child, and swishing his tail. He doesn’t want to run! I don’t believe it! Into the mounting yard and he does an almighty sloppy dump. I don’t hesitate for a fraction of a section and ignore all the other horses and head inside to fire up the iPhone. Ten minutes till the jump!

Now my favourite little app iBetmate has been decommissioned so I try the Betfair app. It refuses to load! In a panic I try Traderline which I have only just installed and after a couple of error messages I get on. I offer to lay the horse at my limit, $1.80, but it is not matched. Five minutes to go and counting down. They are loading them in the barrier. It’s $1.50 with the books, surely I’ll get matched? And then with 60 seconds to go it turns green. I’m on! Siegestor drops out and storms home with an inside run and then suddenly realises he doesn’t like the wind in his face and fades to seventh. Oh, how I love it. To switch my brain from a back to a lay! I’m feeling so good I’m might even forgive Loveheart Lass.

And if you are wondering about Emma Booth, she is a lovely young lass severely injured in an accident that left her as a paraplegic. Today’s race day is a fundraiser to help her get to the Paralympics in Rio in 2016. Here’s hoping she makes it!

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Zipping. What a wonderful horse! Won this race four times straight, from 2007 to 2010. I seem to remember the first time I backed him was in a race at Flemington where there were two hot favourites. Maybe he came in second. All I remember is that I got over $5.00 for the place in a five-horse field! He still looks good, with that odd white sock.

I backed Spilllway who looked very smart in the yard. All the form experts told me that it wouldn’t get the trip, but I don’t do form. The horse loomed up and looked more than likely, but suddenly realised it couldn’t get the trip. Fourth. A losing day.

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Well, the dust has settled now. What a rotten week! Two horses dead and another international winner! The Melbourne Cup is no longer the Melbourne Cup! I’m an Australian and I love the Cup, but the world, it is changing. It is no longer our Cup. It is the World Cup. Do you remember Drum Taps? The much touted European champion who finished ninth behind Vintage Crop, 21 years ago, the official start of the international invasion. In those days the overseas horses were quarantined out at Sandown and then on race day hidden in stalls behind a cypress hedge. We used to clamber onto hijacked seats to try and get a squiz at them. And how we loved criticising the hopeless tactics of the international jockeys. And now? A whole racetrack, Werribee, is given over to the overseas horses and their every whim! And on race day a whole row of  stalls is commandeered, on clear view, with straw or “screened and dust extracted wood shavings” available for comfort. And even the international jockeys seem to be getting a bit smarter. The world is certainly a lot smaller now. Just think, when Vintage Crop won in 1993 the Internet had barely been invented.

I spent several hours looking at all the World Cup horses in their stall. The favourite, Admire Ratki, as previously discussed on Caulfield Cup day, was too aroused for my taste. There were two standouts – Red Cadeaux and Protectionist. Red Cadeaux, the nine-year-old warrior, Persian Punch reincarnated, looked asleep. His head nearly touched the ground. In fact, I even caught him yawning! Protectionist looked perfect, relaxed, but keen and alert, ready to go. I had to pick between the two for my place bet and went for Protectionist, mainly because I’d backed Red Cadeaux in 2012, the only year he missed a place, and I was still spewy on him. Ouch! $5.00 versus $3.10 for the place! And I always take a cup trifecta. My final six were Fawkner, Red Cadeaux, Protectionist, Junoob, Willing Foe, Lucia Valentina and Signoff. I couldn’t come at Who Shot The Barman, who was weaving in his stall, had the cross-over noseband, and was taken out early onto the track by the clerk. And despite backing the Cup winner for the place I lost on the day with two other losing bets in the mares’ races. And some Cup Day trivia. Five plates were lost from four horses during the race. Make of that what you will.

The Oaks was better with two placed horses, Grey Spectre and Tashbeeh, and on Stakes day Terravista was a stunning standout. And I see Mick Burles, trainer of the people’s horse, The Cleaner, is still on the smokes.

Final score for the week was seven out of eleven place bets and one losing trifecta. So, seven out of twelve. Not too bad.

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The greatest day of racing on earth. But the forecast is for Armageddon with rain, showers and hail. I decide to leave my lost and found hat at home in case the wind decides to blow it back to Frankston.

It’s black and white day for ladies. Even the young lasses stick to the dress code of their mothers! There’s a freezing cold wind but 90,244 juiced-up punters don’t seem to mind.

Two bets for two collects. Happy Trails looked absolutely perfect before the Mackinnon and Bondeiger was easily the most relaxed horse in the Derby.

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I’m not a fan of this race. Contested by class horses that always look good. How can you pick a standout? Fawkner looked great in his stall, relaxed and all dappled up. And I love it how Gai brings a bale of straw to the races to make her horses feel like they are at home in their stall. But I don’t like it if the strapper is not paying attention and the horse, in this case Wandjina, starts to eat the bedding! Adelaide looked the goods, with two strappers, an Irish martingale and the cross-over nose band. And Silent Achiever was a picture of fitness in the mounting yard. I couldn’t fault Sacred Falls, Happy Trails and Foreteller. The people’s horse, The Cleaner, was a bit fidgety. My final three, in order – Fawkner, Silent Achiever, Happy Trails.

I decided to be boring and backed Fawkner for the place. A good Melbourne Cup run, you would have to say. And if the world’s best jockey Ryan Moore had not won the race on Adelaide he would have been pilloried for asking the impossible and slaughtering the horse!

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What a disaster. I hopped off the train at Caufield and proceeded some 200 metres towards the track when I realised that my hat was still sitting on the train to Frankston. Oh, no! Panic. I’m lost without my hat. What to do? Call for help! Ring The Missus! “Well Geoffrey, what you must do is go back to the station and advise the staff that your hat is on its way to Frankston and could they kindly retrieve it, please”. She’s always full of good advice, The Missus. So I trudge back to the station and report the missing hat and leave my phone number, in case of a miracle.

It is always hard to recover after such a poor start. And so it proves. But my first job is to apply sunscreen to all those parts of my head now exposed to daylight and not covered by the comb over. My second job is to look at the Cup horses. I check out the topweight Admire Ratki. Nice purple ear muffs, but he’s all over the shop. Hand held, restless, head shaking, rearing, pawing and occasionally having a kick. Not my sort of horse. I like my stayers to be calm and relaxed. This horse is clearly frustrated in the tie-up and keen to get on with it. I try to video him but only manage a short burst. I keep returning to his stall after every race and his behaviour doesn’t change.

I glance at my mobile and there’s a missed call. Hmm. I dial the number. “Caulfield?” “I was wondering if you have found a lost hat?” “Wait a minute, mate. Is it a scungy, daggy, greeny-grey canvas thing?” “That’s it. I’ll be there in ten minutes!” So back I go to the station. I can’t believe it. I shake everyone’s hand. Please pass on my congratulations to all the Metro boys at Frankston!

Back at the track in time to see the parade. Admire Ratki still has the earmuffs, but now a stallion chain as well. My final six relaxed horses for the Cup trifecta are Junoob, Moriarty, Lucia Valentina, Rising Romance, Brambles and Araldo. You know the rest. I had the trifecta all wrapped up at the 100 metre mark until that blooming stallion swamped them. Five of my six horses were in the first seven! You’d have to say Admire Ratki will be hard to hold out in The Big Cup.

On the train home I’m holding tightly onto my hat, a losing day, but I’m feeling like a winner. I’m lost without my hat.

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One of my favourite days of the year. There is a touch of anticipation and excitement in the air, the quality of the races is most excellent, and the crowds are quite tolerable. And I can usually get a spot on the second row back at the mounting yard, whereas next week I’ll be lucky to see through the hats.

I keep my powder dry for most of the day. My eye still feels a bit rusty and in need of a conditioning run. But I break out with a lay bet on the favourite Lumosty in the Thousand Guineas when I spot the bar plates. No, no, no! I take $1.70 the place, six minutes before the jump! The horse got checked and jumped away last, but ran home OK for eighth. Maybe the check was the reason for the poor run and not the bar plates. Maybe I was just lucky. Whatever.

I skip the Guineas. Rich Enuff is a standout, prancing around with an arched neck, two strappers and slightly sweating up. Looks like a good horse, but too short to back at $1.30 the place. The horse was just worried out of the prize. I hang around for the mares and my patience is rewarded when Griante streets them. 6.15 pm! What am I doing here? Collecting, that’s what!

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First day back and I jumped straight in on the two-year-old favourite in the first, Mali Rose. The horse fizzled out after looking likely and was later reported to be lame. Not such a good start to the new season! In the fourth Staviva looked the goods but just faded on the line for fifth. None out of two. This is starting to look ugly! The Turnbull looked too hard, so I saved myself for the mares and May’s Dream saved me by just falling into third. One out of three, for a loss on the day. Obviously I’m carrying too much winter condition and need a run or two before I reach peak fitness.

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