I like Sandown! There’s room to move and less hugger-mugger. And at this time of year the weather is perfect, not too hot, not too cold. And then there’s the lovely autumn light out at the pre-parade ring.

And every horse has a chance as long as you keep away from the inside. When I’m waxing lyrical like this you know I’ve had a very good day! But it didn’t start off so well. My poor run with two-year-olds continued with the nice and relaxed River Goddess getting nutted for third right on the line. How I hate kicking off with a loser! That must be my third or fourth fourth with the babies in the last few weeks? However, things soon improved with Kav’s Tears of Joy coming to the rescue and then Hard Romp snatching third. I saved the best for last with Bengal Cat steaming home in the three-year-old fillies. Thank goodness John Sadler had walked the track and instructed his son to go wide!

I found the time to add to my video library of bad behaviour with that old rogue Fab Fevola circling in the yard and showing some nice heels. This horse is the fastest horse in Australia, if not the whole wide world, over 900 metres. He is always super-aroused and sports plenty of gear – today just the tongue tie, nasal strip and hoof pads.  The horse went like a bat out of hell and led them up until punctured, as all the wise old lags predicted, at the 880 metre mark, and faded to finish last.

The train ride home is always interesting. I overheard a new line in begging: “Excuse me mate, could you ring my brother? I’ve run out of credit!” Usually it’s just “Could you spare a few coins?” I quickly hid my phone!

And a housekeeping matter. I’ve been wondering for some time why there were no comments on the blog and just assumed that nobody bothered reading it. I asked my webmaster who looks after the site and he found over 5000 comments pending! I thought he checked them and he thought I checked them! So I trawled through and found a few legit ones, which I have reinstated, amongst all the spam. So feel free to comment again so long as you are not trying to sell me Ugg boots, Viagra or an iPhone6!

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There is a great line and a great tip in the new book, Watching More Racehorses. If you see a horse displaying a certain behaviour pattern it is “well worth while getting down on hands and knees and crawling across broken glass in order to back it”. It doesn’t happen very often. But there was an example today in the Easter Cup. It was an interesting race with five main chances, all pretty much equal favourites around the $4.00 or $5.00 mark. It was easy enough to rule out Manndawi and Transfer Allowance with boots, with the fetlock boot even featuring in the book chapter on Rare Stuff!  Doumarin and Rather Heroic were also easy to toss out as unsettled, changing stride and tossing their heads up. Good Value was circling in the yard, a definite no-no. That left five chances: Leebaz, Extra Zero, Guardini, Puccini and Observational. Leebaz had the barrier blanket which is a nice positive and the stallion chain a serious negative, and also had a tongue tie, was gaping and salivating, all quite OK, especially the salivating which is very OK. Extra Zero, the old stager, showed me some teeth, but that’s pretty benign. Guardini had the arched neck, and was prancing and neighing, well roaring really, like a stallion. Do you like your bull stallions roaring? And the two hands of the strapper were a negative! I tried to video it, but the horse had pretty much calmed down by the time it got into the yard and I pretty much failed!

Puccini was a clean sheet, and trained by the trainer of the moment, DK Weir. I love clean sheets! Observational had the tongue tie and was gaping, which is also pretty benign.

Who would you back if you had to crawl across broken glass on hands and knees? Leebaz took the lead and looked beaten in the straight until Guardini peaked on its run and Leebaz kicked back and nutted it on the line. Observational got third. Puccini finished fourth and Extra Zero fifth.  I backed ….?

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I spent a couple of hours looking at the ten horses in the Newmarket. My interview with Neil Kearney was going to be shown on Channel 7 before the race and then the plan was to do a live cross to me in the mounting yard ruling out horses with bad behaviour. I’ve been down this track before and seem to remember that once you get into the mounting yard it is all bedlam and the opportunity to look at the horses is quite limited. So I decided to base my comments solely on what I saw in the birdcage stalls. Here they are:
1. Chautauqua: Hand held +3
2. Delectation: Ear muffs, pacifiers, nose roll -21
4. Black Heart Bart: Yawning -30 or +30? Fearful or relaxed?
5. Charmed Harmony: Pawing -12
6. Japonisme: Relaxed 0
7. Churchill Dancer: Brushing, one-eyed blinker -22
8. The Quarterback: Positive strapper +3
9. Keen Array: Nibbling tie-up, winkers -18
10. Counterattack: Pawing, winkers -29. Later – Airborne jockey!
11. Secret Agenda: Tongue tie, nibbling tie-up -5

My final selections: 1,8,6,4. The trifecta in four!

Too bad there was too much chaos in the yard to get to air!

And I noticed that someone had spilled some vegetables around Makybe Diva. And the cutlery was all there, but no kitchen sink!

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I am often asked to name the best horse I have ever seen. My off the cuff reply is usually “my last winner”, but after some thought there are several contenders. Commands third to Redoute’s Choice and Testa Rossa in the Caulfield Guineas is a favourite memory. And Persian Punch, the tough English stayer with two thirds in The Cup to his credit, is another favourite. And then you have to admire Red Cadeaux, with three placings out of five attempts. The VRC have recognised his popularity and stuck a plaque on the bench opposite his usual birdcage stall, number 78. Apparently his ashes are underneath. I felt a bit uneasy about sitting on top of him, so I just paid my respects.

The Kiwi three-year-old colt Xtravagant is all the rage for the Guineas. But out the back he’s just about uncontrollable. Head up, changing gait, cross-over noseband, stallion chain, salivating and letting the old feller hang out. Not my sort of horse. In the yard he doesn’t participate in the parade and does tight circles on the grass. A lay! I get $1.60 the place. The horse rockets out of the barrier but quickly compounds at the business end of the race. I must say, it is immensely satisfying when such a hyped horse goes under after showing such poor pre-race behaviour.

And oh, another unusual gear combination. A one-eyed winker and noseroll on Zebrinz. The horse finished fourth.

And the best horse I have ever seen? So You Think. And if he had stayed here he could have been anything!

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I was doing an interview with Neil Kearney to promote the new book when he asked me “What is the worst thing a horse can do at the racetrack?” My answer was “Weaving!” It has a behavioural handicap of around 50%, which means that a horse’s chance of winning are effectively halved! I didn’t have to look far for an example. Here’s Distant Dreams in its stall rocking and nibbling rhythmically before the last race. The horse finished second last.

Unfortunately not a lay at 100/1!

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I am turning into a surly curmudgeon, otherwise known as a grumpy-bum. A nine race program is hard enough, but a 30-minute gap between races is intolerable, and now they’ve blocked off my path from the birdcage stalls to the mounting yard with a party area for young members. And what’s more they are blasting out head-banging doof-doof music to add to my pain. Not to mention the tingling it gives my tinnitus. And even more what’s more there is a 100 metre detour to get to the yard via the main members entrance. Nine races times 200 metres is an extra 1.8 kms a day that I have to walk! I think I need a good lie down and rest to compose myself!

At least I nailed the two-year-olds. Weatherly looked a standout and won like a good horse. In the original Watching Racehorses a stable pony was one of the most positive variables with a handicap of +67. In the new book Watching More Racehorses it has plummeted to -15! Many more trainers are bringing a pony to the races, so the only explanation must be that they are poorer quality horses. Of course, the big trainers don’t need to worry about a pony as they have multiple runners to act as companions. Paul Messara only had the one runner, although in the stalls it was hard to tell which one was the pony, well, not that hard. Weatherly obviously appreciated the company.

And what do you think of plaited tails? Secret Toy Bizness had a fancy one. I remain suspicious!

I gave some back on Gai’s horse River Wild which missed the jump by five lengths, but got it all back and more on Mighty Like, which powered home to grab third by a whisker at $4.00 for the place. I like that horse! I spent two races sitting down composing myself and went home before the last. So I only ended up doing an extra 1.2 kms. Why am I complaining?

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I’m not looking forward to it. The 30-minute trial that is. Nine races are hard enough for me as it is, but 30 minutes between each race? If you wait say five minutes for correct weight and the horses have to be in the mounting yard some 20 minutes prior, that leaves just five minutes to dash around the stalls and check out say 20 or 30 horses and then have time to cast an eye over the parade ring. It’s obviously the first step towards a ten race program for armchair punters at home. Soon they will be ghost meetings! I don’t like it. Not happy Jan.

I struggled again with the two-year-olds. The Chris Waller filly Gretna looked terrific in the yard and led them up to the 200 before totally compounding. Another weak filly. I got my money back on Pat Carey’s Dan Zephyr on the short back-up, but with absolutely no faults. I celebrated by ordering my free drink in the Medallion Bar. The barman couldn’t believe me when I asked for a Diet Coke, but took pity on me and searched around for the biggest glass he could find. Only three more weeks of Febfast to go!

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Rumour, gossip, innuendo, swirl around a racecourse. But ordinary conversation is always interesting. Today I was listening as well as watching horses:

Overheard out the back (1): “You bite me, and I’ll bite you back!”

Overheard out the back (2): “Gosh! A man just jumped out of those bushes!” “At least he’s got his clothes on!”

Overheard in the Island Bar: “Seriously, Stevie Wonder would have seen you down there!”

Overheard on the mounting yard rail (1): “I don’t like that jockey!” “Yes, but his mother loves him!”

Overheard on the mounting yard rail (2): “Geoffrey, what do you like?” “Number three”. “Anything else?” “No!” Number three, All Cerise, won in a hand canter.

Overheard on the mounting yard rail (3): “Go Chile Express! I patted him!” “Well, if it wins you’d better not wash that hand for a week!”

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I’m not going too well with the two-year-olds at the moment, and for the second week in a row I bombed out. Climate looked perfect in the yard, with no faults, but turned out to be a weak filly, that quickly ran out of steam. But I redeemed myself in the mares with Vital Importance. The horse looked alert, interested and very fit, and ran on well from the rear to snatch third at $4.20 for the place. It had already drawn my attention out the back with chains on the tie-up.

I can’t remember ever seeing these before. Obviously saves a bit of wear and tear on the tie-up! The photos are a bit blurry, but give the general idea.

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I’ve been missing in action since Sandown Cup day. I’ve got good excuses though. First it was a bridge too far. Ballarat is a long way from town for a city slicker who just attends Melbourne Metro! Then it was my wife (aka The Missus) who fell seriously ill visiting our offspring in Townsville. They saved her life in the Townsville hospital. She’s back home now and making a slow and painful recovery. I managed to surface briefly for the Flemington meeting on 12 December. Paul Richards (aka Richo) was doing a story on the new book for the Winning Post. He followed me around for three races where my selections met with mixed success. In the first Hetuka Zarsho pulled up lame, in the next Precious Gem was a winner and in the third Our Voodoo Prince broke down and was humanely euthanased. Richo’s generous story was published in the Winning Post the next week. The only problem was that the races were cancelled because of the heat so that there was no need for punters to buy a form guide!

And so to Flemington, nice and early for the two-year-olds, the first race of the new year. The favourite Sword Of Light was extremely agitated. I narrowed it down to three horses – Gimlet, La Renarde and Want To Rock, but couldn’t decide which one to back. All were good, with a very bad favourite. So I laid the favourite. Then the warning siren. The favourite is scratched at the barrier! My lay bet is history! And the three selections go on to run the trifecta!

Not much else to report. An excellent sloping strapper with Houdini The Great. I haven’t seen an angle like that in yonks! This variable is mildly positive, but intuitively I regard it as a negative. But it does point to a big strong horse requiring a lot of strength. And there is an Indian Turtle Dove nesting in stall 24, usually occupied by Lloyd Williams’ horses. It must be an omen of some sort. Let’s hope for a year of world peace.

Happy New Year.

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