I had a panic attack at the Valley a week or two ago – on Easter Monday. My betting instrument froze again. That dreaded white screen appeared and no matter what I did, turning it on and off, it wouldn’t unfreeze. It so unsettled me that I didn’t have another bet all day. I hot-footed it into the Telstra shop at 9 am the very next morning, fearing the worst, a total meltdown. But a very helpful teenager showed me how to unfreeze it. You simply hold down the sleep/wake button and the home button for ten seconds until the Apple logo appears. You then have to enter your SIM password, which is a major barrier to progress, but fortunately I’d written it down on the back of my hand. Bingo. Back in business. And it was only 9.05.

 So out to Caulfield for the Pink Ribbon Cup. The ladies are sporting lots of pink, to remind us all about breast cancer, that bugger of a disease. And even some of the horses are sporting a pink ribbon. I try to get a photo of the ribbon on that unpredictable recalcitrant, Tears I Cry, and at the instant I press the shutter he swishes his tail. True to form!

 In the fourth race I quite fancy Off The Planet, but with two minutes to go the horse is showing $1.04 the place on the tote. The bookies have it at $1.55, so I fire up the betting instrument. On the login I stumble over the spelling of my mother’s maiden name and so delete it and re-enter. The phone freezes. The dreaded white screen. But hey, this is no drama. Hold down both buttons, check the faint inscription on the back of my hand, and I’m back in business. They are offering $1.78. Too good to refuse and 0.03 cents above my threshold! So I back it and it rockets home for third.

 In the last race the favourite Avionics is looking a little agitated. One strapper is walking ahead warning all and sundry to keep clear as “she will kick your head off”. That’s not much of an endorsement for a favourite showing $1.40 for the place on the tote. And the horse is swishing its tail and flattening its ears in a dangerous looking manner and doing little pigroots . I really do like horses to keep four feet on the ground. This horse is sour! A lay, if ever I have seen one! The betting instrument behaves perfectly and I’m set to oppose it at $1.65. Avionics finds all sorts of trouble in the run and finishes last.

 Two workouts for the iPhone, and two other successful place bets (Reverend Lovejoy and Amaethon), for four out of four for the day.

 I leave Caulfield feeling pretty pleased. You might say – in the pink.

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