Winter has arrived early at Money Valley. A cold south-westerly has dispersed all the punters except for a hardy bucks party team. They go to a lot of trouble – fifteen shirts all embroidered with World Series Bucks Day 2011 logos – but it’s not really a day for short sleeves. They must be members of that obscure Scottish cricket club the Mackenzies.

A quiet day with not much action. I amuse myself trying to get a good photo on my phone of Moshe, but fail pretty miserably. The horse certainly doesn’t have the backside of his sister Black Caviar, and looks wasted in comparison . Moshe kicks out in the barrier and gets his off hind leg caught over the back gate. The stewards pull him out and I cop a bit of heckling for upsetting the horse with my persistent photography. Like A Guest didn’t look in the mood for racing either, with ears well and truly back.

The highlight of the day was My Emotion in Race 6. The horse propped on the track and absolutely refused to go forward, despite the insistence of the strapper, two and then three clerks, and the jockey vigorously using the persuader. Eventually the jockey dismounted and the horse trotted forward. The jockey hopped on and the horse halted! After several more attempts the horse finally got going riderless and J Maskiell managed to get aboard. The Mackenzies loved it and broke out in cheers. I was too busy watching all this to worry about laying it! The horse finished tailed off ten lengths last. Do you think this horse resented the nose roll?

Betting wise, I backed one loser Pontiana and two placed horses, Johnny Fiasco and Akzar, for an OK average day. I tried to lay Big Spirit for the place at $1.70 but wasn’t matched. The horse tossed off the jockey (Airborne Jockey!) on the way to the barrier. TVN didn’t pick it up so I thought I might have some inside running. These sorts of horses are likely to miss the jump. As it turned out Big Spirit fell out of the barrier but ended up in front and led all the way for a strong win.

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Oh, the pleasure and the pain. I’m there nice and early for Race 1 – the two-year-olds. Horse watchers have a serious advantage in these races with little or no exposed form. I have taken an exception to the favourite, Rockshaft, who is bouncing around the mounting yard in a state of high arousal and is sweating copiously behind, despite the cold. The strapper is struggling to contain the horse. I’m keen to lay this horse as he’s showing $1.20 for the place on the tote. I’m also keen to back the Sheik’s horse Kuhreihen, who is lobbing around the yard in a very relaxed state of mind. It looks like a back and lay race. I back Kuhreihen on the tote and with one minute to the jump I fire up the iPhone for the lay, and oh no, not again, that dreaded message from iBetmate: “This product requires a funded account”. How can that be? There must be some mistake? I try it again but of course the horses jump. Kuhreihen powers home for second at $2.80 for the place and the favourite struggles into fourth. Oh, the pleasure and the pain.

Race 2. Time to take stock. A deep breath. My account can’t have been hacked and cleaned out, can it? I have faced this problem before. If there is no activity on your Betfair account for three months iBetmate won’t work. But the app seems to only recognise your UK wallet and not the Australian wallet as your Betfair account. I remember that last time this was fixed by transferring one dollar from the Aussie wallet into the UK wallet. So I login in to the main Betfair site to check my account and transfer the one dollar. Oh, no! How can that be? A balance of $0.00? I must have been hacked! So much for laying horses today!

Race 3. It is deserted out the back. There’s only one desperate watching them in the parade ring. Everyone must be at the other races, the Grand Prix. And another possible lay, of course, with Frenetica far too frantic for my taste.  Frenetica finishes fourth.

Race 4 and Ariarni has the nose roll. It reminds me of last Wednesday out at Sandown when an out of control Follonica appeared with a nose roll, my favourite no-no. This horse had been restless in her stall, kicking out, resisting the strapper and jockey, and taken in hand by the clerk. I layed it at $1.52 for the place but the bet was not matched despite plenty of action at $1.53. Too greedy! The stewards noted that “Follonica jumped in the air as the start was effected” and questioned Craig Williams about his riding of the horse. Craig replied that the horse was always awkward and reluctant to race inside other horses, and furthermore, in his opinion, the horse resented the nose roll! And today I can’t even lay Ariarni! Marheta has the ear muffs, but they look like helicopter blades, or maybe the muff fitting department at Myers didn’t have the right size. But the Cat’s Pyjamas certainly looks the bee’s knees and duly salutes at $2.50 for the place.

In Race 5 Testa My Patience is a standout and is showing $1.80 on the books and $2.20 on the tote with one minute to go. I go for the tote and the good thing returns a disappointing $1.60 for the place. That is a serious crunch. The win price went from about $7.00 to $4.40 in the last 50 seconds. That’s pretty serious too. It really makes you wonder if someone is getting on after the jump.

In Races 6 and 7 I have the winning favourites on top, but too short to back for the place.

So, come the last, Race 8, the get out stakes, my eye is on fire and I’m sitting on three out of three. I like the longshot La Fanastique, at over $6.00 the place. What a let down. The horse is pulled up and finishes tailed off last by 45 lengths. How could I get it so wrong? And how I hate having a winning day and then going home on a loser.

Oh, the pleasure and the pain.

Postscript: Home to urgently check the Betfair account. Whew!  All still there and I transfer the one dollar. I still don’t understand why I couldn’t do that at the track. Fire up the iBetmate, and it is all systems go. I allow myself a brief lamentation – oh, the opportunities lost - all for the sake of one dollar.

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Where is everybody? I know summer is over, but it’s still too early to toss it in for winter. I suppose all the good horses and all the beautiful people have headed off to Sydney. The bookies ring has been cleared and the horse stalls are deserted. I don’t really know why. Autumn in Melbourne is the best time of year. The weather here is beautiful, mild and sunny, and Sydney can only offer rain and beaten favourites. At least there’s plenty of room to move around.

A quiet day with nothing remarkable to report. The most interesting thing I saw was the gear combination on the Hayes horse Our Makai. My pet aversion is the nose roll and on this horse it was coupled up with pacifiers. You’d have to wonder what the horse could actually see! Sensory deprivation! The stewards report noted that “Our Makai over-raced in the early stages”.

Four bets, which is quite a few for me. Three placed horses – Galbraith, Wind Shear and Seduced, and one loser, Broadcast. A pretty good day.

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It’s all Black Caviar. Even people who have no interest in racing are wondering if the mare will make it ten out of ten. Me, myself, personally, well I’m not too fussed. I can’t bet on the race as the $1.04 place divvy means that if I backed 25 winners and one loser at those odds I’d still be just square. Insane. But if the horse brings more people to the races then that’s a good thing, even if I don’t understand it. So I pin on my badge with bemused pride.
The mare is relaxed out the back, doing plenty of laps, and is unfazed by the infernal noise from the Top Gear show at the showgrounds next door. I’m told that the crowd there is even bigger than the crowd here at Flemington. The weather is tropical – hot and steamy – slightly different conditions from this day last year, if you recall. If not, enter Super Saturday into the Search box for a refresher!

The mare has them on toast and wins by three lengths, easing down on the line. Simply too good. A tick outside the track record. I pick up my free photo on the way home. I  think I’ll frame it. Or may be I could sell it on eBay?

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I have two parties today. The members’ cocktail party at 11 am and my aunt’s 90th birthday party at 3 pm. Somehow in between all this fun I have to fit in the Australian Guineas.

The cocktail party is most excellent with delicious egg and bacon rolls. And there is ample refreshment, except I’m off the grog at the moment, and it makes a grown man cry to see all that temptation lined up. I quit the party early to check out the two-year-olds instead.

Mourayan is walking around the parade ring and looks in good nick. I first saw this horse back in September when he had his first start here along with fellow import Alandi. Alandi didn’t fire a shot and was sent back home, but Mourayan has shown something. I keep him in mind. Of the two-year-olds I like Fortune Of War, and in a blanket finish the horse somehow manages to grab third.

There are only five runners in the second and I cross them all out except for Mourayan and the favourite Anudjawun. I love these small fields. The place dividend for second is often way over the odds. And Mourayan just manages to hold out the favourite for second and pays a remarkable $3.40. The next three races go to good looking favourites, Dubleanny, King Diamond and Aloha, and suddenly, it’s 3.30, and I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.

A battle through heavy traffic and I arrive in the nick of time for the speeches. There must be over a hundred people here. My absence hasn’t been noted, has it? 90! Now there’s a good age. And delicious scones, vanilla slice and lemon tea cake. My penance for being late is to stack up all the chairs in the church hall.

I’m told Shamrocker won the Guineas. And I’m told Rebel Soldier, the multi-million dollar import that I photographed last week has been gelded, after putting one of David Hayes’s lads in hospital. Hayes said that the horse was going to kill someone unless he acted. Watch out for that white eye!

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A beautiful, almost perfect day for racing. Warm, a Good 3 track, not too crowded, despite all the free tickets and all the good horses on show. I’m pretty much resigned to not being able to back Sepoy or More Joyous since I’m a place punter and $1.04 is a little bit short.

In the Futurity More Joyous looks as close to perfection in a horse as I’ve seen and I declare her to be a sure thing. But Who-be, who looked stunning out the back with matching strapper, pushes the mare to the line. There’s a tremendous roar for Who-be when he looks likely to overhaul her, but enormous relief for odds-on punters when he just falls short.

In the Diamond Sepoy just looks a class above them. Out the back he was showing me some lip with the flehmen display, a minor cause for concern, and he was slightly more unsettled in the yard than the last two times, flicking his ears and changing his stride. But he’s simply too good.

In the St George I was interested to watch the performance of Rebel Soldier, who has a reputation for an evil temperament, but today is as quiet as a lamb. I love his Trigger good looks, with the stallion chain and hint of a white eye a reminder to be careful! The horse finished tailed off last.

Only two bets for the day. Sayahailmary pinched a break and never looked likely to miss the place at $3.00, but I gave some back on Mont Fleuri. The horse did nothing in the last, even though it was a race for mares, my favourite class of race. I hate going home on a loser, especially when it has been such a good day.

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Climate change has a lot to answer for. Melbourne is so tropical now, hot and humid, with thunderstorms in the afternoon. It feels as if the whole town has moved 1000 km north. I’m still feeling tentative, and the forecast for 50 mm of rain overnight is not encouraging. I don’t know how much Flemington copped, but it’s very squelchy underfoot down at the parade ring and the rubbish bin for my lunch scraps is half full of water. It doesn’t inspire much confidence. Mister Milton’s flowerpot doesn’t inspire much confidence either. I enquire as to whether he’s a biter, but it seems he doesn’t bite strappers and prefers to nibble on himself. Maybe that’s why he’s 150/1? Compare him with The Cat. Now, there’s a fine head!  The times for the first few races aren’t too bad and vary from Slow to Good until I eventually decide that the track is probably a genuine Dead. Probably bettable.

The Lightning Stakes is an interesting race. Hay List looks physically impressive and the leg wound that I tried to photograph in the spring looks to have healed up OK. Apparently he jumped into a water trough and lifted a flap of skin on his off foreleg. The mare Black Caviar looks well, with some improvement to come, and Warm Love, who I’ve backed twice recently, looks very smart in those spiffy ear muffs. My selections are Hay List to beat Black Caviar and Warm Love. The mare is a bit short at $1.00 for the place so the question is who to back for second – Hay List at $1.50 or Warm Love at $7.30? With minus 30 seconds to go, while they are still mucking around with King Pulse, I go for Hay List. The mare wins by a street from Hay List, with another street to a dogged Warm Love. At least Hay List payed more for the place than the mare for the win, but I’m very disappointed that the dividend is chopped to $1.40. I’m even more disappointed when checking the TAB website to find the dividend declared as $1.50 and I was payed at $1.40!

Not much other action to report. I backed a loser (Goldstone) and a winner (Rubinacci) for the sake of exercising my money.

When will it stop raining? I need to speak to Al Gore.

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 I’m feeling a bit tentative, what with five or six inches of rain at Caulfield over the week. The track is a Dead 4 with a cold southerly breeze and I watch the first couple to check the times. They seem to indicate a genuine Dead, although it probably pays not to get too far back. I’m looking forward to the two-year-olds to follow up on Sepoy from Australia Day, but the $1.04 for the place is asking a bit much. The horse won well. Running Tall did a good job for second, despite carting a fifth leg around the mounting yard, even with the jockey up. I’ve always thought an erection was a serious negative in two-year-old colts, but quite a few of them seem to be confounding me lately. I did my money on Eramor in the fifth, which was racing well near the lead but burnt out in the straight.

And so to the sixth race. I’m watching the favourite Zelsnitz in the parade ring. The horse is unsettled, changing stride and tossing its head around. The strapper uses two hands to control it. A possible laying opportunity. A quick check on Betfair. $1.68 the place. In the mounting yard they have called in the reinforcements, a second strapper. And hey, what’s that. The filly has broken out in a serious sweat. A no-no when it’s cold. I whip out the iPhone and offer $1.56 the place. The bet is matched! Normally I wouldn’t lay a horse until one minute before the off, and here it is, what, ten minutes till the jump? And normally I watch the races in the bar, but for this one I ascend the stand. Zelsnitz jumps to the lead but collapses in the run home for a flagging fifth. I’m feeling a bit cocky. It’s my third successful lay over the last few weeks.

The field for the Orr Stakes is outstanding, but no bets. The champion wins well, but I’ve never really been a fan. She doesn’t carry her head like a champion, always twisting her neck and with her head down. I feel like yelling out “Posture”. In the last I like Das Machen. The horse seems to be headed near the line, but holds on for third at $3.40. Not a bad day.

Stop press: terrible news out of Newbury, UK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y85kwV2Mkt4

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Abandoned!

The reason why!

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I quite like the two-year-old races, mainly because nobody has a clue as to how they will run. And I didn’t have much of clue either and ended up crossing them all out for one reason or another. But I thought the chances of Decircles could be slightly reduced because he was curling his upper lip in his stall. This is the classic flehmen response.

Decircles

 The photograph doesn’t quite capture the extent of the curl but gives you the general idea. There is quite a good description of flehmen in that  indispensable punter’s bible - Watching Racehorses. The behaviour is generally thought to be involved in sniffing out mares on heat, not something we want our two-year-old colts to be doing before a race. Despite the distraction the horse ran on OK for a pleasing seventh.

I backed Lohnreign for a place in the third, even though Under The Eiffel looked outstanding and had won convincingly last time out at Sandown. But I was happy with $2.00 for second place. I gave it back on a miserable Testalux in the fifth and came in to race six all square.

Jumpout Joey reckoned Spacecraft was the lay of the day on fitness grounds and the horse’s behaviour certainly left a lot to be desired. He was very unsettled, head up, changing stride, fast gait, circling in the yard, gaping, flared nostrils, showing me some teeth, sweating copiously behind. I had already noted that the vet had blood sampled him in his stall, but horses handle that with no drama. I laid him for the place at $1.60. My selections were Rockpecker and Wealthy Lad. Because I’m such a Rockpecker fan I backed him for the place at $1.90, but he was crunched into $1.50. I think all of Stony Creek must have been on him. The horse showed great determination to win from Wealthy Lad. There was a minor moment of panic when Spacecraft looked like squeezing Barwon Express out of the finish but Barwon Express fought back well to grab third.

A successful back and lay in the same race! That’s enough excitement for one day!

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