I always say that I’m not having a bet on the Newmarket Handicap because it is such a hard race. Twenty four horses down the straight six. The Charge of the Light Brigade. But each year I see something and get sucked right in, usually to my personal financial disadvantage. And this year is no different. I’m not betting. Until suddenly, what on earth is that? A horse in a full body suit, a ginormous wet suit, an equine budgie smuggler! And look. I think it’s Hay List, the favourite for the Newmarket, but I can’t be sure. The tag on the bridle is slightly obscured. Is it Race 6, No 1, or is it No 11. The horse disappears before I can confirm its identity. This is the first time I’ve seen a compression suit. Apparently they increase circulation to the muscles during transportation and stabling. Wow! For more information check out the Hidez website.

I’m all set to back Hay List until he fronts up in the mounting yard with winkers. Now, I’ve developed a slight aversion to winkers, not as bad as the nose roll, but enough to put me off backing horses sporting them. What a shame, when I was all set to fall in love with compression suits. Anyway, it must have been the 11, Grand Nirvana. But hey. What’s that? Buffering. Lobbing along, head down, relaxed, stunning. A standout. And who’s that? Another standout. A Francesca sighting. It is an omen. All the planets are aligning. I back Buffering for the place. They’re off and Buffering has the race shot to bits, until who is that digging deep on the line? Of course, it is that grand warrior, Hay List. Have the budgie smugglers done the job? But I’m not fussed, because the $5.90 place divvy for Buffering is the same regardless of first or second.

No bet on the Australian Cup. But I did glimpse the fine head on Americain. The horse looked magnificent. You can only describe him as imposing. I also caught a brief glimpse of Better Loosen Up who won the race in 1991. Can you believe this horse is 26 going on 27 years old. I wish I could see him without the rug. And in the last Yosie had an interesting gear combo of Kineton nose band, nose roll and tongue tie. There was meant to be a bit lifter in there somewhere but with all those straps and buckles I’m blowed if I could see it. Yosei finished a respectable fifth.

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